Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Enter Dr. Gonzo Green-Bash

Dr. Green-Bash tapped his fingers on the desk as he watched the clock.  He was thinking, "Erin's even later than normal today."  In front of him on his desk was her file.  He had been reading over the notes of her last therapist, the one who she had "fired."  The notes read: "MIT. Clearly thinks a lot of her intelligence."  "Talks too fast.  Nearly impossible to follow." "Hormonal issues. Consider prescribing zoloft."   The last bit was circled four times and underlined.

Shaking his head, Dr. Green-Bash said to himself,  "These western doctors are so quick to prescribe."  After spending seven years in quiet meditation in Puna with Swami Dharma of the Heart, Dr. Green-Bash knew just what Erin needed.  He tapped his heart absently. But she wasn't ready for that, first he had to calm her, to center her. Right now she was far too frazzled for any kind of heart work.

On his desk he had printed out a few things he was sure would help her. He looked carefully over them and his eyes settled on his favorite one:

Top Five Things to do When Feeling Frazzled

by Swami Dharma of the Heart

5.  Watch: "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge." I laughed until my chime bowl tipped over.

(Watch "The Blues Brothers." Yes, my friend, not only is this an hysterical movie, it is also a great example of alchemy.  Very good training for a writer.)

4.  Go to the Bangalore Channapatna Wooden Toy store.  To be a child again, this is the secret joy of life!

(Spend a few hours at the lego store, pick out a set, take it home and build it.  I would recommend Lego Hogwarts if your budget allows.)

3.  Get your hands painted in henna.

(Go for a pedicure.)

2.  Chant: 

"Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare"

(Go to the piano bar with friends. Definitely "Benny and the Jets" and "Hotel California")

1. Do yoga.

(Do yoga)

The items in parenthesis were his own additions. He had a gift for translating Eastern wisdom for Westerners. It was why he had such a following among the royals. Oh dear, and look at the time! Speaking of royals his next client, Lady Fanga Sandwich, would be here soon. What had happened to Erin? She never missed her appointments.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

I find meditating on grape jello works wonders as well. I don't even like grape jello.