Thursday, February 3, 2011

Ellen DeGeneres Interviews Laura (In Her Head)

"Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head cascading up and down again
Up and down and round again, down and up and down again."

Pink's rough voice crooned to Laura out of the car stereo.  She turned up the volume, loving the music and the words. She imagined herself with Erin, toasting to writer's bliss. Publication at last! It was a sweet fantasy.  
"Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken them all.
Just to end up right back here on the floor.
To end up right back here in on the floor."

Ugh, that's how Erin was all the time these days. On the floor. It was pathetic, though Laura loved her anyway, of course. In fact, just yesterday evening, Erin had Skyped that she couldn't go into bookstores anymore without hyperventilating because of all the people who had been published when she hadn't even queried an agent yet. Laura snorted. She was on her way to Erin's right now, actually. Her friend just didn't seem well, that girl. Somebody had to check on her.

The song kept going and Laura used it to forget Erin for a moment. 

"Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel.
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell.
But I'm not scared at all...hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
The cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball."

She started to sing along.  Her voice began perfectly on key, "Pennies in a well...."  but the song just dropped too low for her as Pink dove into her lower range and Laura was left in the soprano dust with her lovely but high Disney princess voice. "Oh, well."  The lyrics made her think of the future again, though.  Erin sometimes talked about tarot and psychics these days - the girl was seriously having issues - but Laura didn't need a crystal ball to tell her they'd make it. She new they would.

Smiling she imagined Ellen DeGeneres inviting her on to her show. Laura, a young author, with her new successful bestseller, Perfect 10. A real hit. It had everything that made a best seller...  a young handsome hero, looking for his perfect boyfriend.  "Okay, so maybe it's not the classic plot exactly," she said out loud and giggled.  "But that's what will make it a hit. A hit that is needed in these times." 

Her imaginary Ellen, complete with her crooked smile and even more crooked blond hair asked, "Well, Laura, it's a long road to becoming a published author. Did you have doubts? Was it a struggle for you?"

"Actually, Ellen, it was. It was tough keeping up my morale. But deep down inside, I knew that I'd make it." Laura said.

"Really? Wow, Laura, I admire your confidence. Usually my guests say they were shocked by their fame and fortune. How did you know? Did a fortune teller predict it or something? Cause I know I'm still waiting for that postcard from God explaining it all to me."

"Yeah, you know, I do believe talent, creativity, and the support of your family are all essential to making any risky venture pan out. I really do believe that. And working on your skills, well that's key. Don't mistake me there. But, thing is, I knew because I think it's mostly sweat. It's mostly the long haul you have to be into.  You have to be completely committed. And, well, I was. I always was. I knew that no matter what happened I would, 'Just keep swimming!'"

Imaginary Ellen looked at Laura and grinned, nodding. She patted Laura on the knee from where she sat in her comfortable, imaginary armchair and said, "That's a catchy phrase, Laura. I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before...  but I just can't place it."

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